How to get rid of Negative Feelings

The first question comes in my mind when I start writing this post is " What is purpose of Negative feelings?" or " Simply  What is purpose of feelings?". 

The answer isn't directly comes in my mind. 

 So to find answers I started to relook what actions we generally taken when we feel  those feelings. 

Lets start with positive feeling with some common examples. 

Imagine that you got high salary rise and promotion. 

In this case you definately feel appreciation, joy, happiness and courage to perform even better next time and so on. 

You want to share your achievement to your family members, your collegues and subotdinates. 

Your heart in happiest state and you feel like you are extra ordinary. 

At that time everything you do comes naturally to you. 

You called your parents and gives good news for your promotion. Shared on social media and for sure put it on whats app status or instagram stories and curuosly watch for number of views or likes. 

 You Start your day with courage, energy,anticipation and more commitment. 

Now look at what actions you and I taken when we are in such happy and positive state. 

We want to share(Which increase social bonding), we become more focused (Increase productivity), we are ready to take more challanges (proactive). No body told us to  share your experience. No body told you to be more focused but you and I naturally do the same. 

Lets took another case. 

Becoming a parent. No one comes and told you to take care of little one. You want to play with the little one. Care, appreciation, dedication naturally comes to you and you do what ever it takes to do to just witness faint smile of little one. 

Parenting is tough job but our patents do it with great responsibility . Even we also do the same. 

What happens when we feel such good state. 

We start taking actions. Like showing more commitment, caring of new borns, or work with more responsibility. 

 

Now lets look at the cases when we feel negative. 

For example feeling boredom. 

What actions we took. When we feel boredom we instantly comes into complaining mode. Similarly to when we feel overwhelmed when too much work to do. We blame some one for such pathetic planning due to which we feel overwhelmed. 

We similarly responds when we feel frustrated. But here one thing we need to notice is that we don't take any concrete actions. We either comes into complaining or blaming someone. That makes problem even worse. Because our mind drove us to related thoughts and as feelings and as thoughts were interconnected we feel similar   feelings with high intensity. That means we intensify the feelings and drive into evemore negativity. 

Now look at the difference in our actions we took. 

When we feel positive we want to share our experience, showing more responsibility, taking more challenges. 

The question is whats driving force for such actions. 

The answer is simple : Its acknowledging the feeling. 

When you feel positive you acknowledge it and that acknowledgement drives us towards action of sharing, caring or showing commitment. 

But when we feel negative emotions like boredom, frustration, overwhelmed, anger, depressed. Our first reaction is refusal of that particular feeling. 

However as feelings and thoughts are interconnected we feel similar feeling until and unless we took some concrete action. But action part only comes when we acknowledge our present feelings. 

Simply by acknowledging our present feelings reduce intensity of Negative feelings and we comes into relaxed state. In relaxed state of mind we see clear picture and with that clarity we decide our priority of action. 

But the key here is simply acknowledgement of current feeling. When you start feeling negative, start acknowledge that. Don't refuse it. Its normal to feel negative feelings. 

Name that feeling to Tame its power. 

Its very important step to just acknowledge the feeling. It took practice. Be concious about our feeling solve most of our problem. And most importantly it cost us nothing and gives total control over your current state of mind. When we are in total control of our current state of mind we have one most important tool that remove negative feelings instantly : Its changing our representation. 

By changing representation we simply change course of our action towards that feelings. And thats whole purpose of the negative feeling system.

It message us to change internal perspective or internal representation. 

Any situation ignite negative feelings into us. We simply need to acknowledge it. Then look at different perspective or representation. 

Look at other options or perspective. Thats quite possible that some opportunity lies in the situation but we dont took any action step towards it as we don't acknowledge it.

And as we don't acknowledge it we can't  comes into relaxed state to see hidden opprtunity lies into the situation.  

So whenever you feel negative the hidden message is that look at something great that lies behind situation. But first we have to acknowledge the feelings particularly negative feelings. 

Make a commitment to acknowledge feelings, particularly negative and findout opportunities lies in the situation. 

Thanks.